Batman vs Sherlock Holmes lyrics

Batman:

Nice hat, dork. You look like a duck.

I had Alfred read your books. He told me they suck.

I'll crush your British nuts until they're bangers and mash!

I've seen better detective work in Tango & Cash!

You chump! I kick punks like you off the streets,

While you and Velma here are solving Scooby-Doo mysteries!

Nothing makes me laugh, but I bet your raps can,

So bring it on, bitch… I'm Batman!

Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson:

I once met a rich fellow who smelled of guano and pain.

Holmes, explain. I deduce this deuce stain is Bruce Wayne!

The billionaire? Yes, his wealth would allow this adversary of ours

To afford the toys he needs, since he has no superpowers!

You want a battle, bat? Bring it then!

I heard he has a British butler! Good! Then he'll be used to getting served by Englishmen!

You're a wack vigilante black pantied spud with no skill!

My sidekick's a doctor, because his flows are so ill!

Batman:

Shut up, nerds. I serve justice, so eat it!

My sidekick only comes around…

Robin:

…When he's needed!

Boy Wonder make you wonder how your ass got killed!

Bite harder than those hounds down in Baskerville!

I'll blast you with that bat-wack-rap repellent!

Rappel a building, snatch a villain, then by dinner be chillin'!

Gotta secret 'bout your homegirl, Irene Adler:

Took her back to my nest to "bam pow kersplat" her!

I'll shatter that fiddle with a chop of the hand!

Holy Conan Doyle, let's get 'em! Aw, god damn!

Batman:

You're not smart, you're selfish! You endanger everyone's life!

Why don't you let your boyfriend here go home to his wife?

Nobody likes you! Not your brother, not your partner, not Scotland Yard!

You'll die alone with no friends except that needle in your arm!

Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson:

This mustn't register on an emotional level…

First, exploit childhood tragedy…then gesture with pipe…

Watson finishes punchline…next, acknowledge compliment…

Conclude with killer catchphrase…

I believe your parents' homicide is why you mask your face.

You're shamed and traumatized and haunted by the vast disgrace

Of watching like a passive waste as momma died and daddy was dispatched with haste!

Holmes, you've cracked the case! You're a batshit crazy basket case!

Bloody good rhymes! I've got tonnes.

Dissing these dynamic douchebags was…elementary, my dear Watson. (OHHHHHHHH!)

• Artist:Epic Rap Battles of History
• Album:Season 2 (2012)