Birthday Card lyrics

I was on my last warning from Mrs. Example

Clean up my act, stop being an asshole

Didn't help my debacle

I'd just woken up from an all day, all night, filthy bar crawl

Something quite

(Bait)

About today's date I'd was hard to locate

I'd drunk too much Pernod

Took another swipe with my Mach 3 Turbo

Then it hit me like a raging inferno

I don't believe it I

Forgot her bloody birthday card

She wont be a happy gal

Forgot her bloody birthday card

She's gonna scream and yell

Forgot her bloody birthday card

She'll leave me man, she might as well

Forgot her bloody birthday card

I try to keep things relative

Never give headaches to myself if I can

But I can only think negative

Used to tell her shit like I'd lost my pen

Now there's a chance I'll never see her face again

So I walk a fine line, but it's not the end

See I bought her a voucher for H and M

She can get a new skirt and she'll look the part

And if it don't work, pour out my heart

Look, yeah, I'm going to be completely honest with you

You know I love you, you know I respect you

At the end of the day, a birthday card

It's just a piece of paper isn't it?

In an envelope

Yeah, I know a voucher is a piece of paper too

Yeah, but you can get a skirt with that

Well, you can get shoes then

Wait, nah, that's bullshit

I can't do that

Can't sound like a wanker

(A girly chat)

So I gotta make a dash for the petrol station

'Cause their cards are perfect for any occasion

I drop my razor and splash my

(Boat)

I grab some tracky-d's and a random coat

Then I'm on it with a wallet

And I hit the pavement

I'm running down the street

With my face half shaven

I'm getting stronger and stronger my legs are burning

There's still hope yet, just a couple of turn-in's

See the longer I wander, the more I scream

She gets here at 10 and it's quarter to

I don't believe it I

Forgot her bloody birthday card

She wont be a happy gal

Forgot her bloody birthday card

She's gonna scream and yell

Forgot her bloody birthday card

She'll leave me man, she might as well

Forgot her bloody birthday card

I get to the garage, panic scanning the rack

Ninety nine percent of the range is all crap

Happy Birthday Dad, Worlds Best Mother

I Love You Sister, You're a Special Brother

No other bloody card with a cover for a lover

Plus I'm getting kinda stressed as I search for another

But this one struck me, it's pink and funky

With a cartoon print of a drunken monkey

There's a chance I'll make it, I'm nearly done

I hand him the coins and it's time to run

Now it's 5 minutes too and I'm nearly home

I feel a vibration and check my phone

The message reads, 'Honey, I'll be there shortly'

'I just got off the bus and I've started walking'

So like Kelly Holmes, I sprint the home straight

I rip my tracky-d's as I hurdle the gate

I crash through the door, I fall up the stairs

Looking like I've been in intensive care

The Biro's fucked, the pencil's broken

I grab a Magic Marker and write a token

Of my appreciation for her

And the things that make her so perfect

Shit, there's the bell

I seal the envelope it should all be swell

Look, here she is, my Kiera Knightly

She gives me a kiss and I hug her tightly

She asks why I've only shaved half my face

And sweating like I've just come first in some race

I got up extra early

To exercise and stretch my thighs

So I could see my special girly

She looks in my eyes and sees my lies

With a dubious face she accepts the card

She reads it, drops it and slaps me hard

I open it up and prepare for doom

The text in the card reads 'Get Well Soon'

I don't believe it I

Forgot her bloody birthday card

She wont be a happy gal

Forgot her bloody birthday card

She's gonna scream and yell

Forgot her bloody birthday card

She'll leave me man, she might as well

Forgot her bloody birthday card

Ok, I admit, yeah, I messed up big time

But have I got a surprise for you?

Yep, nah, man, wait for it

I booked us a table

At Nandos

No ser, where you going?

Serious, where you going?

It's only a card

I was on my last warning from Mrs. Example

Clean up my act, stop being an asshole

Didn't help my debacle

• Artist:Example
• Album:What We Made