Blackbeard vs. Al Capone lyrics

[Blackbeard]

I come strapped with six pistols and a dagger

Walk under the black flag with a scallywag swagger

Ain't no parrot on my shoulder and no rings in my ear

I'm an irate pirate, real swashbuckling buccaneer

Beef with me? Please! I'm the high seas Caesar

My cold heart is many degrees beneath the deep freezer

You're an obese greasy sleaze squeezing a diseased peter

That no skeezer would touch if she had fifty foot tweezers

Don't start a war with me, you're not hardcore

I'll pimp-slap those face scars of yours, port and starboard

You spent time in Alcatraz, I'm sure you were fine

If you dropped the soap as little as you drop dope rhymes

[Al Capone]

I'm a busy man, Captain Crunch, I'll make this quick

I'm ruining pirates faster than Johnny Depp did

I had syphilis, yeah, well you're a huge dick

With a scurvy ridden ship filled with bilge rat pricks

I run an intricate criminal syndicate, so show respect

Or get that tongue ripped out your neck and shoved right up your poop deck

Slappin' bitch-ass teaches back since I was 14

You ain't a tough guy, my kids dress up like you for Halloween

I'll use that fuse in your hat to light up you and your buddies

And burn your sailboat down and collect the insurance money

Then maybe they'll find your bloated body dead and washed up on the beach

This is Capone rapping and I'm capping this captain, Capisce?

[Blackbeard]

The Valentine massacre brought you condemnation

But I'm gonna sink you faster than your income tax evasion

When I toss you overboard like a mob abomination

So prepare to learn the Davy Jones Locker combination

Forty cannon on the Queen Anne, your gang can't stop it

I'll pilfer all your rum and sell it back at a profit

Cause I'm a criminal legend with a badass name

You're a fat thug with an STD in his brain

[Al Capone]

C'mon, they chopped your head off and they hung it from a rope

The only legend you left was your prohibition on soap

I mean, that rat nest beard's trapped so many crumbs

This bum could get marooned and still eat lunch for a month

I'm the emcee assassin, slash like Edward Kenway

Rap so hard call me Al... dente

Take your little sloop John B and go home

Tell South Carolina Blackbeard got Capwned

• Artist:Epic Rap Battles of History