Crew Slut lyrics

[Act I]

But one night, at the

Social Club meeting Mary didn't show up...

She was sucking cock backstage at The Armory

In order to get a pass To see some big rock group for free...

[SCENE FOUR]

[CREW SLUT]

Backstage at the local Armory, MARY, in her little white dress,

is wiping the remnants of her performance off the side of her mouth

as LARRY (the guy from the garage who quit the band in order to make

an honest living) zips up the front of his stinking boiler suit and sings

to the same teen-age girls who were stomping and clapping a little while ago,

as they kneel with their little pink mouths open near the crew bus,

hoping to save the price of admission by performing acts of Hooverism on

the jolly lads who set up the P. A. System.

[LARRY:]

Hey Hey Hey all you girls in these

Industrial towns

I know you're prob'ly gettin' tired

Of all the local clowns

They never give you no respect

They never treat you nice

So perhaps you oughta try

A little friendly advice

And be a CREW SLUT

Hey, you 'll love it

Be a CREW SLUT

It's a way of life

Be a CREW SLUT

See the world

Don't make a fuss, just get on the bus

CREW SLUT

Add water, makes its own sauce

Be a CREW SLUT

So you don't forget, call before midnite tonite

The boys in the crew

Are fust waiting for you

You never get to move around

You never go nowhere

I know yer prob'ly gettin' tired

Of all the guys out there

You always wondered what it's like

To go from place to place

So, darlin', take a little ride

On the mixer's face

Be a CREW SLUT

Just follow the magic footprints

Be a CREW SLUT

Hey, you'll love it!

Be a CREW SLUT

It's a way of life

I ain't gonna squash it

And you don't need to wash it!

CREW SLUT

Hey, I'll buy you a pizza

CREW SLUT

Of course I'll introduce you to Warren

The boys in the crew

Are only waiting for you

At this point, the road crew, as all road crews must from time to time,

borrow some of the big rock group's equipment and have a blues jam

session, indicating to the kneeling maidens that they are endowed with

a great deal of raw talent, as well as massive meat. Obviously impressed

with LARRY'S ability to suck so hard on his harmonica that screeching

little noises come out of it, MARY kneels again and reaches upward in

gestures of supplication, listening intently as LARRY continues to sing...

[LARRY:]

Well you been to Alabama, girl,

'N' Georgia too

'N' all the boys in thecrew

Is bein' good to you

I know yer sayin' to yourself

'This is the way to go

'Cause when you need a little extra

They will give you some mo'

'Cause you're the CREW SLUT

[MARY:]

I'm into leather...

[LARRY:]

That s good! A lot of the boys in the crew

Love leather...

[MARY:]

And rubber...

[LARRY:]

Yeh, they like rubber too... shrink- tubing

With a hair dryer...

[ROAD CREW CHORUS:]

Trade your spot on the bench

For a guy with a wrench

[MARY:]

Ha ha ha...

[LARRY:]

You like that, huh?

I told you you'd love it...

It's a way of life!

[ROAD CREW CHORUS:]

The guys in the crew

Have got a present for you!

[MARY:]

A present for me?

[LARRY:] We got a present for you!

[MARY:]

Whaddya got?

Whaddya gonna give me?

[LARRY:]

It looks just like a TeleFunken U-47

You'll love it...

[MARY:] With leather?

[CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:]

Eherrr, eh eh...This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER again...

And so MARY was enticed away from Joe

By an evil barbarian with a wrench in his pocket

Lured into a life of SLEAZERY

With the entire road crew of some Famous Rock Group (I don't know whether it

was Toad-O... I don't know... I'll check it out)

Again we see MUSIC

Causing BIG TROUBLE!

• Artist:Frank Zappa
• Album:"Joe's Garage Acts I, II & III" (1979)