Deutsche Bahn [English translation]

Ladies and Gentlemen, the ICE to Frankfurt/Main

arrives divergent at the opposite platform

Departure of that train was 14:02

Though, it wasn't because it's already half past two.

Unfortunately with us most things are different from what you expect:

Today we attached the wagons the wrong way.

The wagon sequence is directly the opposite of plan...

Thank you for traveling with Deutsche Bahn!

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your train manager speaking.

I'm not able to speak in a normal way

But nevertheless you get the service that you are accustomed to:

First German and then English, with heavy accent.

First of all I want to recommend - without hiding my disgust -

the offer of our onboard bistro:

Meatloaf and softdrink for € 7.10.

Before have fun in the queue.

Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for travelling with us

with crazy prices

on ramshackle tracks

We spontaneously thank for your capacity for suffering :

Thank you for traveling with Deutsche Bahn!

Ladies and Gentlemen, we can't continue our journey,

because there's a cow on the rails.

But please keep us loving.

We just were too long a public enterprise.

If you want to use the lavatory,

we suggest to clean it yourself.

The best way is to use a bottle of Dettol.

Thank you for traveling with Deutsche Bahn!

Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for travelling with us

with crazy prices

on ramshackle tracks

We spontaneously thank for your capacity for suffering:

Thank you for traveling with Deutsche Bahn!

Ladies and Gentlemen, because most times no one understand them,

the heating constantly is out of order

Otherwise air conditioners are ready for you,

but they only work up to 32° C.

We have a theory, but the proof is missing:

In winter it's getting cold and in summer it's getting hot.

Experience cold shock and delirium with us -

Thank you for traveling with Deutsche Bahn

Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for travelling with us

with crazy prices

on ramshackle tracks

We spontaneously thank for your capacity for suffering:

Thank you for traveling with Deutsche Bahn!

• Artist:Wise Guys