Eminem - Bad meets Evil

[Intro: Cowboy (Jeff Bass)]

I reckon you ain't familiar with these here parts

You know, there's a story behind that there saloon

Twenty years ago, two outlaws took this whole town over

Sheriffs couldn't stop 'em

Quickest damn gun-slingers I've ever seen

Got murdered in cold-blood

That old saloon there was their little 'home away from home'

They say the ghosts of Bad and Evil still live in that tavern

And on a quiet night, you can still hear

The footsteps of Slim Shady and Royce Da 5'9"

[Verse 1: Eminem]

I don't speak, I float in the air, wrapped in a sheet

I'm not a real person, I'm a ghost trapped in a beat

I translate when my voice is read through a seismograph

And the noise is spread

Picked up and transmitted through Royce's head

Trap him in his room, possess him and hoist his bed

'Til the evilness flows through his blood like poisonous lead

Told him each one of his boys is dead

I asked him to come to the dark side, he made a choice and said

[Verse 2: Royce Da 5'9"]

Who hard? Yo, I done heard worse

We can get in two cars and accelerate at each other

To see which one'll swerve first

Two blind bandits panic whose mental capacity holds that of a globe on top of nine other planets

Kissed the cheek of the Devil, intelligence level

Is hellier than treble peakin' on speakers in the ghetto

Dismissal, I'm not a fair man, disgraced the race of an atheist

Interceptin' missiles with my bare hands like a patriot

One track sliced without swords, I buried the Christ corpse

In my past life, when the black knight mounted the white horse

And stay over-worked, it's like the Nazis and the Nation

Collaboratin', attemptin' to take over the Earth

[Hook 1: Eminem & Royce Da 5'9"]

‘Cause this is what happens when Bad meets Evil

We hit the trees 'til we look like Vietnamese people

He's Evil, and I'm Bad like Steve Seagal

Above the law ‘cause I don't agree with police either

Shit, me neither

[Verse 3: Eminem & Royce Da 5'9"]

We ain't eager to be legal

So please leave me with the keys to your Jeep Eagle

I breathe ether in three lethal amounts

While I stab myself in the knee with a diseased needle

Releasin' rage on anybody in squeezin' range

Cold enough to make the seasons change into freezin' rain

(He's insane!) No I'm not, I just want to shoot up

And I'm pissed off, ‘cause I can't find a decent vein

[Verse 4: Royce Da 5'9"]

The disaster with dreads, I'm bad enough to commit suicide

And survive long enough to kill my soul after I'm dead

When in danger, it's funny, actually my flavor's similar to a waiter

‘Cause I serve any stranger with money

I spray a hundred, man, until they joint chains

While slippin' bullets at point-blank range like they was punches

Piss on a flag and burn it, murder you then come to your funeral

Service lobby and strangle your body to confirm it

Whippin' human ass, throwin' blows, crackin' jaws

With my fists wrapped in gauze, dipped in glue and glass

I'm blazin' emcees, at the same time amazin' emcees

Somehow, emcees ain't that eyebrow-raisin' to me

From all of angles of us, flash a MAC loud enough

To cast a avalanche and bust 'til volcanoes erupt

[Spoken: Eminem]

Hello? (Ayo, what’s up?)

We're coming to get you!

(Stop! THEY KNOW IT’S US!!!)

[Verse 5: Eminem & Royce Da 5'9"]

I used to be a loudmouth, remember me? (Huh-uh?)

I'm the one who burned your house down (Oh), well, I'm out now (Shit!)

And this time I'm comin' back to blow your house up

And I ain't gon' leave you with a window to jump out of

Give me two fat tabs and three shrooms

And you won't see me, like fat people in steam rooms

And when I go to hell and I'm gettin' ready to leave

I'ma put air in a bag and charge people to breathe

[Hook 2: Royce Da 5'9" & Eminem]

‘Cause this is what happens when Bad meets Evil

And we hit the trees 'til we look like Vietnamese people

He's Evil, and I'm Bad like Steve Seagal

Against peaceful, see you in Hell for the sequel

(We'll be waiting) See you in Hell

Wall Street, Royce Da 5'9", Slim Shady

See you in Hell for the sequel (Bye-bye!)

Bad Meets Evil, what? ('Til next time)

[Outro: Cowboy (Jeff Bass)]

And so that's the story when Bad meets Evil

Two of the most wanted individuals in the county

Made Jesse James and Billy the Kid

Look like law-abiding citizens

It's too bad they had to go out the way they did

Got shot in the back coming out of that old saloon

But their spirits still live on 'til this day

Shhh… wait, d'y'all hear that?

• Artist:Eminem
• Album: Slim Shady LP (1999)