Fossi figo [English translation]

If I was cool, I'd hang out at the right club.

If I was cool, I'd know the right people.

If I was cool, I'd wear trendy clothes,

sometimes those are hideous garments,

no chances to re-sell them.

If I was cool, I'd go to the gym every day.

If I was cool, I'd stand naked in front of the window

If I was cool, I'd be the Adductor Prince,

I'd be the Abs King

I'd be the King of the Window.

People would admire my hair

yes, it's fake, but it looks very nice anyway.

My real hair is gone with the wind,

even the picture on my ID

doesn't look like me anymore.

Hair, hair, it's gone

and it's not coming back.

In the street I replace it

with a marvel of technology

a product of research and experimentation

that help us with our looks.

If I was cool, I'd drive a large jeep

right to the club, [I'd be] expected in the VIP area.

My name would always be on the list,

maybe I wouldn't be at the top of the list,

but I wouldn't be the low man on the totem pole, either.

Go-go dancer,

I never managed to dance

the way you dance.

I look at you, you look at me,

and in my body this triggers

that odd feeling

we young people call

[japanese] "upward-facing willy".

Maybe I'm not cool, maybe not,

but I am beautiful on the inside, on the inside

On the outside, you see me as a loner

but I like to be around people.

To make sure you like me,

I'd spend the whole day shaving

the way a porn actor does with his balls.

• Artist:Elio e le Storie Tese
• Album:Cicciput