Groundhog Day

[Intro]

"What is a nightmare?

The dictionary tells us it is a terrifying dream, a nightmare."

[Verse 1]

I used to think I had bad luck, but I wasn't superstitious

'Til one day I grew suspicious

When I stepped on a crack on Aunt Edna's stoop

And got pooped on by a group of stupid pigeons

Then we flew the coop to Michigan to start anew, but ditchin'

Missouri for Michigan didn't work

So we moved back to Missouri from Michigan

From Missouri back to Michigan

Someone, put me out my misery, I can't do this again

Mom, please stick to a decision

Discipline, last thing I wanna do is listen

She's like Lex Luthor, bitchin’, her rules are Krypton-ite

So the walls, I done lost my power to see through them bitches

But I run into 'em, runnin' through the kitchen

Pretendin' to be blind Superman, 'cause I had no supervision

But I did have a super power though, I could turn into Invisible Kid

Disappear out of sight like a true magician

And one day Uncle Ronnie brought over this new but different

Music into the picture, and it became my new religion

[Interlude]

"I remember it clearly, even today."

[Verse 2]

Move back to Michigan again, to live with my Grandma Nan

Always itchin' for somethin' to do, was flippin'

Through the radio stations one day

And discovered this DJ who was mixin'

I say it to this day, if you ain't listened to The Wizard

You ain't have a fuckin' clue what you was missin'

I'd zone out with my headphones

All I remember doing's wishin' for shoes

Fuck them stupid Pumas, bitch!

It's all about them new edition Troops

You get them LL Cool J coolin' system

Made that final manoeuvre to 8 Mile and Hoover

And somehow I saw my future is in this

That's how I knew my mission

Little boom box boomin', spittin'

Practicin' numerous writtens

When I'd sit in my room, envisionin' my dreams come to fruition

I remember Proof would visit

Couldn't wait to play him my new shit

He'd go cuckoo ballistic, go through the roof for his shit

It's like we knew the instant

We touched a mic that both of us two existed

To do this shit; never quit, too persistent

[Interlude]

"Carved an underground empire."

[Verse 3]

Started a group of misfits, Proof had a proposition

If we all band together, there ain't no stoppin' this shit

Come up with aliases, bipolar opposites and

Be ready to come off the top as sharp precision

If you got dissed at the Shop, 'cause if they caught you slippin'

They'd take your spot if someone got to rippin'

You, and you forgot your written

Opportunity knocks once, it ain't knockin' again

It tried ding-dong ditchin' shit, I fuckin' got that bitch in

A headlock, cut off its oxygen, Slim

Is not budgin' like cocksuckin' cinder blocks in the wind

Now I got a pot to piss in

Spot in that top position, koppin' over the opposition

Lookin' like a dog that's pissin', leg up on the competition

Promisin' complete dominance, Sugar Ray Robinson

I'm in a league Muhammad's in

Ali's my colleague bombin' 'em

Probably end up on top of 'em

Stompin' 'em like Ndamukong

I'm Russian like a Ukrainian, LaDainian Tomlinson

Flow vomits in your face, competitors fall at my waist

You spit a rhyme, I spit in a rhyme's face

So name the time, place

To battle, bitch, I'm still in that mind state

Don't make me step on you and make you wine grapes

Cry babies, maybe my way that I use words

Is loose, but you turds better be careful how you choose yours

'Cause feelings scar but egos bruise worse

And the truth hurts – shit, no wonder you're sore losers!

Now where's your poo, birds?

Ooh, no more trippin' in bird shit

Songs of self-empowerment surgin'

Words of encouragement, but discouragin'

The rappers, the rap game's god

But the name's not James Todd, I'm just a wordsmith

So let these words lift

'Cause all I got is bars for you dumbbells

Since yours ain't workin' out, each verse is

More merciless than the first is

And you ain't got to wear no shoes and shirt in this bitch

To get served, bloodthirst revenge of the nerds, chka

[Interlude]

"That you'll not escape my vengeance."

[Verse 4]

And I'm the kid with them ears like Dumbo's gone

Word to Uncle Ron, I'm turnin' into a non-humble Don

You blonde dumb hoes, all I got is dick for you to come blow on

So start the show, but I need a drum roll 'fore I go on

Better back away from the front row, get launched

Show you I'm bigger than Dikembe Mutumbo

On the fuckin' Jumbotron

I'm a juggernaut, you do not wanna rumble, you bomboclaats

I'll leave you stretched out like a fuckin' yawn

So mow the fuckin' lawn, your asses are blades of grass

And I'm fuckin' up this whole landscape of rap

The G.O.A.T. just ate eight acres, an eighth of that

Was just to make a path

And take it straight to your favorite rapper

Oh, look, my notebook looks smoke-cooked

Like the flow stood a foot over the flame on the stove, soot

Charred debris floatin' like Oakwood

Was burnin', return of the no good and I won't quit

[Interlude]

"And the next thing I know

Something came crawling up from below

Something that made Godzilla look like a blamed..."

[Hook]

And I don't quit, won't change

It's like a Groundhog's Day

So crowd around, y'all, 'cause you may

See if I popped your head

[Bridge]

I'm a monster, mutt

I'ma turn into a monster

I'm a monster, mutt

With my dick in your mouth all day!

[Outro]

"I'm not so sure I want to know from whence it came

But the white flesh creature's trail is easily followed

There, before that shimmering veil of light, the ivory skin slug thing."

• Artist:Eminem