Lucian Piane - The Baddest Bitches in Herstory

[Intro: God/Michelle Visage]

Hey, it's me, God!

Good girls may go to heaven

But bad girls rule the world.

Who's the baddest bitch in herstory?

Well who am I to judge?

[Verse 1: Eve/Myah Marie]

In the beginning

There were 1, 2, 3:

Adam and me and my best friend Steve.

They started making out in front of me

That's when I told them they had to leave:

Get out!

They took all the fruit from me

Except the apple on the tree,

It was forbidden

God are you kidding?

Then the snake told me to bake an apple pie and not a cake

So I did it.

I went and bit it

And then everything went to shit

And then I realised I was naked

What

That's right

[Verse 2: Helen of Troy]

(The most beautiful face in the world

That launched a 1000 ships.

She mesmerises with her smile

But ey when she opens her lips...)

You're not Helen of Troy!

You're not Helen of Troy!

You're not Helen of Troy!

I'm Helen of Troy!

You're not Helen of Troy!

You're not Helen of Troy!

You're not Helen of Troy!

I'm Helen of Troy!

I'm Helen of Troy!

[Verse 3: Cleopatra]

I started at the bottom

One stone at a time.

I never gave up

I was born for the climb.

I left my hieroglyphics and became the Queen of the Nile.

Me and Mark Antony hand in hand walking like an Egyptian

Thick eyeliner with a sick profile

And what ha-happened was?

I walked my way up to the top of the pyramid

Just like all the boys did.

Walked my way up!

Walked my way up!

Walked my way way way way way up

Top the top of the pyramid.

Meow!

(So how did that work out with you and Marc Anthony?)

He turned out into a real pain in the asp!

[Verse 4: Joan of Arc]

They call me a witch,

They call me a liar,

Now they wanna set my pussy on fire.

I was the baddest bitch,

A lady freedom fighter.

The voices in my head going off like a choir.

(Choir)

La la la, voices in my head...

(They go)

La la la, voices in my head, head....

You gonna burn me at the stake.

Betta bring some barbecue sauce!

When I touch this catholic saint,

Betta pray and ask the boss

Saint, sinner, chicken dinner,

Holy war, holy winner.

(Saint, sinner, chicken dinner

Holy war, holy winner.)

La la la, voices in my head

(They go)

La la la, voices in my head, head....

Oh my god, everyone's talking at once...

Shut up!

[Verse 5: Marie Antoinette]

If you are looking to start a revolution,

I've created a social media solution.

Put on your opulent jewels, hair, and dress,

And say it in 140 characters, or less:

Let them eat cake.

Let them eat cake.

Let them eat cake, cake, cake, cake, cake.

Let them eat cake.

Let them eat cake.

Let them eat cake.

Let them eat cake.

Let them eat cake.

[Verse 6: Kathryn The Great]

I had a great many lovers

That I took to bed.

Every Tom, Dick, and Egor,

And even Mr Edd!

There's more of me to love

With a few extra pounds.

Everyone knows that I like to horse around!

Horse around, giddy up and get down.

I said giddy up!

Horse around....

Come and take a round on my merry-go-round

Horse around

Get down get down get down get down!

Horse around...

All of Russia is my stomping ground!

I got a nice big carrot, da!

[Verse 7: Annie Oakley]

(Bang bang!)

I'm Annie Oakley,

And this is my band:

The sharp shooters.

Five, six.

(Bang bang bang bang bang!)

Been on my own since I was young.

Came out my mama with a gun

A better shot than any one.

No one could beat me.

But there's a story y'all don't know

My draw was fastened his was slow

It really was his time to go.

So I went bang bang!

(Bang bang!)

Bang bang!

(Bang bang!)

These double barrels pumped him full of lead.

(Bang bang bang bang bang!)

I went bang bang!

(Bang bang!)

Bang bang!

(Bang bang!)

He's six feet under

Lying in my bed!

Well, I guess I'm done.

Yippee-yi-ki-gay!

[Verse 8: Frida Kahlo]

Por muchos, muchos años,

I tweezed it every hour.

Before I go to bed, I shaved it in the shower.

I always thought it made,

My Frida face look sour.

My uni-uni-uni-uni-uni-unibrow!

But mom said "It's okay!",

To be a unibrow-er.

Never be ashamed

Cause it's a sign of power.

So now I paint my face,

And not a stupid flower.

My uni-uni-uni-uni-uni-unibrow!

(Girl, you need to get yo brows waxed!)

Okay, you know what and you need to pluck off!

[Verse 9: Eva Perón]

I'm Eva Perón so honey don't you cry for me!

I'm an actress, model, diva

And the first lady.

I give the people hope!

For a better For a better mañana.

I was a Evita after all!

I played it better than Madonna.

I did it for the right!

I did it for the kids!

I did it for the sick and poor!

I did it for the fame,

I did it for the money

I did it because I wanted more!

I gave the people joy!

I gave the people life!

I gave the people drama!

And I did it! Oh yes I did it!

Better than Madonna!

[Verse 10: Princess Diana / Allie X]

I'm princess Di, I'm very shy

And the world fell in love with my eyes.

To everyone, I was his wife,

And we lived out a fairytale life.

And then the shit hit the fan,

I got divorced from my man,

He made me give up my crown

But they can't keep a girl down!

Be careful what you wish for,

Cause this English rose has thorns!

[Verse 11: All]

They say it's a man's world, we disagree

We've been breaking the rules!

[Eve]

And it started with me!

[All]

We're the baddest bitches in herstory!

• Artist:Lucian Piane
• Album: Baddest Bitches in Herstory (From "Rupaul's Drag Race All Stars, Season 2") - Single