Mother Teresa vs Sigmund Freud lyrics

[Mother Teresa]

Mother Teresa, for short, call me "M.T."

I'm a Missionary of Charity M.C.

Three stripes like Adidas, and I'm doing it for Jesus

A one woman Nun-DMC!

I got a peace prize, but I'm not friendly

You're 0-for-13 as a nominee

I got lines like the DMV

And being me takes balls, but I ain't got no D-envy!

I couldn't ask for a better adversary on the mic

Than the father of psychoanalysis. Psych!

Look at that egghead! Momma wants some omelettes

I'm here to crack the mind behind the mom-sex complex

I gave food, bed, medicine, and showers

To those whose flesh leprosy had devoured

Your legacy is people who are mad at their parents

Complaining on the couch for 200 bucks an hour!

[Sigmund Freud]

Jokes I can make about your looks: abundant

Your chastity vow: redundant

But that's enough about Mary B

Let's turn to my favorite subject: me!

I got mouth cancer, wasn't feeling so hot

Had the Doc put me down with a morphine shot

Thank imaginary God I wasn't in one of your beds

You'd have just sprinkled magic water on my forehead!

I help people live, you watch people die

To get souls for a man in the sky!

You took credit that you didn't deserve

You're the fakest sister act since Whoopi Goldberg!

You were running Project Pimp the Projects

To you, Calcutta meant Cal-cutta check!

I can see right through you and you've got no flavor

I'm battling a communion wafer!

[Mother Teresa]

You call that a verse? You're super-ego tripping

I gotta say, Sigmund, you're Freudian slipping

I built mad missions in my savior's name

All you built was a mad tolerance for cocaine

Obsessed with masturbation, but you're off the beat

Your flows are so poor, I should be washing their feet

Dreams are the only place you'll ever be as dope as me

I make my rhymes count like beads on a rosary!

Everything is sex to you! After I'm through wrecking you

I'll have to go and do confession just for standing next to you

You want a second coming? I'll bless the mic again

I'll end you like a prayer, motherlover! Amen!

[Sigmund Freud]

I notice that you talk a lot about yourself, which is funny

Since you hide your true feelings like they were other people's money

An exception to my theory! I can't believe this!

Here we have a Mother that no one wants to sleep with

You had a nice message, but your methods were detestable

I've seen better care given to organic vegetables!

All these tokens and smoke and miracles

You really believe all this stuff? You're hysterical!

I've got the libido to continue to beat ya

But our time is up, Teresa.

• Artist:Epic Rap Battles of History
• Album:Season 6