New Math lyrics

It's new math, yeah

What's a pirate minus the ship?

Just a creative homeless guy

And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant?

An ironic way to die

And what's domain, domain, range?

A kid with too much in his pants

And two balls minus one

Seven titles at the Tour de France, yeah

Gets worse

Yo, split a decision with long division

Take the circumference of your circumcision

Live like your data, when you're all set

Put it all together and whatever ya get

It's new math

It's new math

And what's a bag of chips divided by five?

Well, that's a Nike worker's meal

And Santa clause multiplied by "i?"

Well I guess that makes him real

And the square root of the NBA is Africa in a box

How do ya trace a scatter plot?

Ya give the pencil to Michael J. Fox

Whatever

Take the approximate moral proportion of the probable problem of a pro-life abortion

Live like your data, when you're all set

Put it all together and whatever ya get

It's new

It's new

It's new

It's new

It's new math

And if you took a factor tree of the factors that caused my girl to leave me

You'd have a tree

Full of Asian porn

C-A-L see you later

Mathematical minds make industrial smog

What's the opposite of ln(x)?

Duraflame the unnatural log

Support the farmers with a pro-tractor

Link Kennedy and Lincoln with a common factor

Live like your data, when you're all set

Put it all together and whatever ya get

It's new

It's new

It's new

Alright, word problems, ready?

If there's a fat guy in a pastry shop with a twenty dollar bill and he's ready to buy

In order to predict his volume change you'll need to know the value of pie

And there's a metal train that's a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her

How long till it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor

And if ten percent of men are gay

Twenty percent of men are Chinese

What are the odds that a man chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees?

And if Kim is half as old as Bobby

Who is two years older than twelve-year-old Tori

For how many more 30 day months will their threesomes be considered statutory rape?

'Cause math can be sexy

'Cause having sex is like quadratic expansion

If it can't be split then its time to stop

And having sex is like doing fractions

It's improper for the larger one to be on top

And having sex is like math homework

I do it best when I'm alone in my bed

And squaring numbers are just like women

If they're under thirteen just do them in your head

New math

• Artist:Bo Burnham