New Year Resolutions lyrics

I am resolved – throughout the year

To lay my vices on the shelf;

A godly, sober course to steer

And love my neighbors as myself –

Excepting always two or three

Whom I detest as they hate me.

I am resolved – that whist is low –

Especially with cards like mine –

It guts a healthy Bank-book – so

These earthly pleasures I resign,

Except – and here I see no sin –

When asked by others to “cut in.”

I am resolved – no more to dance

With ingenues – so help me Venus!

It gives the Chaperone her chance

For hinting Heaven knows what between us.

The Ballroom and the Altar stand

Too close in this suspicious land.

(N.B.) But will I (here ten names) abandon?

No, while I have a leg to stand on!

I am resolved – to sell my horses.

They cannot stay, they will not go;

They lead me into evil courses

Wherefore I mean to part with – No!

Cut out that resolution – I’ll

Try Jilt to-morrow on the mile.

I am resolved – to flirt no more,

It leads to strife and tribulation;

Not that I used to flirt before,

But as a bar against temptation.

Here I except (cut out the names)

x perfectly Platonic flames.

I am resolved – to drop my smokes,

The Trichi has an evil taste.

I cannot buy the brands of Oakes;

But, lest I take a step in haste,

And so upset my health, I choose a

“More perfect way” in pipes and Poosa.

I am resolved – that vows like these,

Though lightly made, are hard to keep;

Wherefore I’ll take them by degrees,

Lest my backsliding make me weep.

One vow a year will see me through;

And I’ll begin with Number Two.

• Artist:Rudyard Kipling