Почему аборигены съели Кука? [Pochemu aborigeny s'eli Kuka?] [English translation]

Don't grasp the waists of strangers,

Now, that your girlfriends don't look.

Remember, how to the shores of Australia,

Sailed up the late Captain Cook.

Sitting in a circle under azalea

In Australian land sunny and hot,

Eating and eating from dawn to dusk

One another, evil, savage lot.

But why did Aborigines eat Cook?

You won't find the answer in the wisest book.

The answer is simple - they wanted a lunch

As far as I see it - so Cook they did munch.

It's also possible that their Chief Big Beech

Shouted to his people standing on the beach

That aboard the ship there's delicious cook,

There was a mistake and they ate James Cook.

Nothing was to it, no deceit at all

That without "knock, knock" they entered that door.

Knock, knock on the head with a bamboo stick

And James Cook is dead - what a nasty trick!

There is one more thing that I, well, suspect

Cook could have been eaten due to high respect.

All this has been set by a cunning shaman

"Catch Cook, boys," shrieked the cruel man.

Roast him with no onion, salt or other spices

and you'll be like Cook - strong, brave, with no vices.

A stone happened to be there which some savage took

Aim, hit, bang - and there is no Cook.

And the savage lot now's wailing and crying

Break their swords and bows they're trying

Burn their bamboo sticks with ferocious hate

Regretting deeply that James Cook they ate.

• Artist:Vladimir Vysotsky