Republican Town

Brian:

I dream of Republican Town,

Where men to the right of the aisle don't back down.

The streets are a glow with the smell of apple pies

And babies come out of the womb in coats and ties.

Nice place, huh, Rush?

Rush Limbaugh:

It's a paradise, Brian.

Trees grow from Republican sod.

And everyone prays to a proper right-wing God.

Lois:

Republican Catholics?

Brian:

Yes, indeed, there are!

Lois:

Republican Muslims?

Brian:

Now, let's not go too far.

Lois:

No Muslims?

Rush Limbaugh:

Eh, too many tall buildings.

Brian:

They've outlawed all abortions,

Late or early.

It's a sin we can't abide.

Lois:

What if you find a fetus

Left abandoned?

Rush Limbaugh:

We just take it

And we jam it back inside.

Brian:

Aw, yes, 'cause I dream of Republican Town,

The place where the happiest smile is Cheney's frown.

I'll bet you a buck you won't find a damn thing wrong

'Cause when you come down to it,

This is where we all belong.

Lois:

Who else lives here?

Brian:

Oh, big names, Lois.

We're watching Republican stars...

Rush Limbaugh:

Like sweet Mickey Rourke, and his gorgeous right-wing scars.

Brian:

Chuck Norris is one...

Rush Limbaugh:

And he's got a right-wing beard.

Brian:

Jon Voight is another...

Rush Limbaugh:

He's just right-wing weird.

Brian:

His, uh, his daughter's pretty hot, though.

Rush Limbaugh:

At one time, Brian. At one time.

Lois:

But how 'bout global warming?

Brian:

It's a snow job

By Obama and his crew.

Lois:

But aren't all his findings

Backed by science?

Rush Limbaugh:

Careful, Lois,

Now you're sounding like a Jew!

Brian:

Oy!

We dream of Republican Town,

Where Clinton is viewed as a crazy Commie clown.

Rush Limbaugh:

A place where America's growing free and strong.

Brian:

'Cause when you come down to it,

This is where...

We...

All...

Belong!

• Artist:Family Guy (OST)
• Album:Excellence in Broadcasting (season 9, episode 2)