Right For Me lyrics

[Verse 1]

I feel phenomenal as usual

Pharmaceuticals, glue sniffin', pools of vomit at Bonnaroo

But I don't know if I'm in Tennessee, Chicago, or Houston

In the corner tryin' to seek solitude

Shallow but such a hollow dude

I won't even swallow solid food

Alcoholic too, plus I'm on lean like the Tower of Pisa

Top it off I'm on mushrooms, so fuck all of you!

Roses are violet, mollies are blue

Lost in a ball of confusion, it's all an illusion

It's probably the shrooms I'm on

‘Cause I think I started hallucinating, ‘cause I just thought I heard Jay Electronica and Odd Future's new shit

And all I could do was follow the music

And end up with Paula Abdul at Lollapalooza

Fillin' water balloons with nail-polish remover

Just to pop 'em and wallow in fumes

I feel uptight, I gotta get looser

After I finish polishing off this bottle of booze I got a solution

Concentrated like orange juice, so I'm not as deluded

‘Cause all this delusion got me seein' shit

Excusez-moi, but that hoochie that passed

You see her ass? Wouldn't make her my main squeeze

Butt juicier, ass, it belongs in a juicer

It's mouth-waterin' too

So I walked over to her, like, “I’m Marshall

Wanna try to meet my standards? I'll introduce ya"

Oh, I'm a misogynist too, but I'm not a masseuse

But my attitude is rubbin' off on the youth

Chronic abuser, and I don't mean a user of marijuana

I mean verbal assault that I use to smoke all of you losers

Got a bazooka, a shotgun, a Ruger, a Glock, and a nuke

And a Rottweiler too, and I'm not in the mood, so

When I say I'm bringing the TEC out

I'm not coming to repair your fuckin' electronic computers

God, I'm gonna puke, I'm so gone off the hookah

I think I swallowed a loofah

I'm tore up, demolished, I'm fuckin' stoned like Oliver

Like I looked Medusa in the eyeball to seduce her

The thoughts I produce are loony tunes

The box of reusable latex gloves and the socks and the shoes

That were placed next to Veronica's boobs

And the paycheck stubs that were stuffed in the glove box

In a blue Honda with used condoms were clues

The girl was just not the one suitable for him

[Hook]

Right for me, (that will) change me

Rearrange my head to be

Just right for you and me

Don’t laugh, please listen to me

[Verse 2]

Thought I’d give in to the pressure

Collapse and crumble perhaps, relapsing under that

Well, that's a bunch of crap

In the clutch, I'm the Captain Crunch of rap

And I'm sick of acting humble, that's enough of that

Fuck that shit, cut the sack

Like it's a natural reaction

That's why I'm actually trapped in this shoving match

‘Cause push keeps coming to that

I can keep getting my ass kicked and coming back

Like a sarcastic crumpled sack of shit, still mad

Disgruntled, had some struggles, yeah

But that passion and hunger's back

What a fantastic juggling act!

And the way I flip my tongue on the track

It's like verbal acrobatics, but in fact

Last time I tried to pull off a dramatic stunt as drastic

I fuckin' crashed my hovercraft

After I strapped a duffel bag to my back

And stuffed a massive punchin' bag in it

And an elastic bungee strap, rubber, plaster, a thumb tack

And a piece of plastic bubble wrap

Went spastic and fuckin' snapped

Jumped and splashed in a puddle of battery acid

Stumbled back, recovered, back flipped

And landed on a gymnastic tumble mat

And for my last trick, lunge on back

Latch on a NASA shuttle flap, fuckin' snap the rudder in half

Chuckled and laughed, utter my last rebuttal

And just as I'm to come crashin'

I grab my Go-Go-Gadget inflatable gigantic humongous mattress and ceramic construction hat

Rub my magic mushroom tat

For luck, then splat, get up from that

Face taped to a waste paper basket

Throw up, then gasp, lungs collapsed

And that's more likely than finding someone that's…

[Hook]

Right for me, (that will) change me

Rearrange my head to be

Just right for you and me

Don’t laugh, please listen to me

[Verse 3]

Couple of shots of Jäger

Public intoxication, dis-fuckin'-combobulation

Flooded with thoughts of anger

While I was away I know probably some of you got to thinkin'

"You're top ten, ain't cha?"

Stop it, you fuckers are talkin' crazy

And stop interrupting, you're not even up in that conversation

Whether you're punchin' a clock or famous

Underground, pop, or nameless

Whatever your job is, I give a fuck what's your occupation

You're thinkin' just ‘cause you came in with scrubs

And you brought the scalpel and sponge

The oxygen tank and the suction and shot the brain surgeon

Stuck in the operating room

Once you done swapped your name with him

Smuggled in Ronald Reagan

If you dug him up; Donald Fagen

While juggling waffles, bacon

A fuckin' McDonalds egg and cheese sausage bagel finagled it

Flung it across the table

Then bump it and knock it shake it

Jumped and got in the way, then disrupted my concentration

I said fuck it and lost my patience

They all woke up from sedation

Ain't none of you Dr Dre, so then what is it got you thinkin'

You can fuck with this operation?!

Aftermath, still running hip-hop amazin'

I'm still pluggin' along

No need for an assumption, here's confirmation

I'm up for the long duration

I'm just looking for something to walk away with

Some pocket change and a little integrity

Though I'll probably be jumpin' across the stage

'Til I'm fuckin' Madonna's age and

Stuck in an awkward place in my life

But I shit you not like I'm plugged up with constipation

That day will come

Before I finally stumble upon some lady that’s…

[Hook]

Right for me, (that will) change me

Rearrange my head to be

Just right for you and me

Don’t laugh, please listen to me

• Artist:Eminem
• Album:Shady XV (2014)