The Night Before Contact

[Verse: Katya Zamolodchikova]

'Twas the night before Contact and all through the land

Lonely satellite dishes were pelted with sand

Computers connected to TVs with cables

In the hopes of transmitting some alien fables

The lab techs were all hunkered down, fast asleep

Having jerked off to Julia Louis Dreyfus in Veep

And me, with my headphones, reclined on a car

Awaiting a message delivered from far

Away in a galaxy light years ahead

Perhaps from a relative long presumed dead

When at once I was greeted with a rhythmic pulsation

A Janet Jackson-esque beat from an alien nation

Off to the lab, I drove mad and like hell

Into the walkie, a scream, a screech, and a yell!

The lab techs woke up and responded in kind

Though, most of them stupid, and one of them blind

Together we looked, and together we listened

As the sweat on my forehead started to glisten

As sound became image, and image became clear

We wondered out loud, "What the hell have we here?"

A message from space, or some alien threat?

A bizarre World War II karmic comeuppance debt?

But, thank God, or whomever, it was just a floor plan

For a time-travel spaceship to build in Japan

I jumped in the tube and said "Okay, go!"

Such was my passionate desire to know

Science was God, and the stars were my savior

The Government would never Jodie Foster such behavior!

But in the end I cried tears, not because I was sad

I cried and I smiled, cause I met my dead dad

• Artist:Trixie Mattel
• Album:Homemade Christmas