What If God Smoked Cannabis [French translation]

If God had long hair

and a goatee,

and if his eyes looked pretty glazed…

if he looked spaced out,

would you buy his story?

Would you believe he had an eye infection?

And yeah, yeah, God looks baked,

yeah, yeah, God smells good,

yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah…

What if God smoked cannabis?

Hit the bong like some of us?

Drove a tie-dyed microbus,

and he subscribes to Rolling Stone?

When God made this place,

in the beginning,

did he plant any seeds?

Or did he put them there for Adam and Eve,

so they’d be hungry for the apple that the snake

was always offering?

And yeah, yeah, God rolls great,

yeah, yeah, God smells good,

yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah…

What if God smoked cannabis?

Do you suppose he had a buzz

when he made the platypus,

when he created Earth, our home?

Does he like Pearl Jam or the Stones?

And do you think he rolls his own,

up there in Heaven on the throne?

And when the saints go marching home,

maybe he sits and smokes a bone.

• Artist:Joan Osborne