Canibus: C True Hollywood Stories

Few figures in hip-hop have fallen quite as far quite as fast as Canibus. Mentored by Wyclef Jean and hailed as rap's next big thing after a series of ferocious guest performances, Canibus saw his career begin to unravel during the legendary recording-session misunderstanding that led to his public beef with LL Cool J. Canibus scored a hit single out of the incident in "Second Round K.O.," but Cool J won the war and the credibility, and the much-hyped Can-I-Bus flopped. Canibus' barely promoted 2000 B.C. made his anemic-selling debut look like the commercial second coming of Thriller, while Cool J and a newly estranged Jean added insult to injury by dissing Canibus well after he ceased to be a commercial threat. Canibus was dropped by Universal following 2000 B.C., and his independently released "C" True Hollywood Stories frees the rapper to indulge his most self-indulgent instincts, most notably in his mentorship of a bizarre white novelty rapper proclaiming himself to be the "Stan" Eminem rapped about on The Marshall Mathers LP. "Stan Lives!" chronicles the unlikely pair's meeting, as Canibus helps rescue Stan from a car crash, and promises to befriend him and take him all over the world, unlike that ungrateful bastard Eminem. The self-delusion continues on the title track, in which Canibus assesses his career and ponders his dismissal from Universal, before reasoning, with the skewed logic of a bullied child, "Maybe nobody got the balls to sign me / but it's cool 'cause soon they'll all be calling me." The following track, "A Different Vibe In L.A.," delves further into Canibus' loopy psyche, as he acknowledges his quicksilver fall from eminence, rapping, "My first album, it shipped gold / that's an insult / considering I did this one at Kinko's," a claim supported by the CD's amateurish packaging and production. But it isn't long before Canibus is back in his own private fantasy world again, promising Stan The Fan "a whole fleet of limos" in a bizarre skit that suggests both could benefit from proper medication. Filled with anemic beats, questionable rhymes, and nutty song concepts, Stories boasts many surreal moments, but none match the bluntly titled "Draft Me!" A showcase for the rabid patriotism of both Canibus and Stan The Fan, the song samples George W. Bush and talks about "murdering monkeys," crashing planes into tour buses, bloody red turbans, and other phenomena that render "C" True Hollywood Stories not only bizarre and dispiriting, but also resolutely creepy.