Не Хочу Быть Москвичом [Ne Khoxhu Bet' Moskvechom] [English translation]

I don’t like Moscow very much,

Just like any other countryman.

Especially the Red Square.

I never kissed it.

All of the good tablespoons,

It takes so much of everything.

And guide the bike paths,

all of them to “Zaryade” park.

The Parks of Culture and Walks,

But no one to drink with, f***.

You cannot find anywhere that is quiet,

You’ll just have to walk.

Where, say, the Hermitage? 1

(I had cultural experiences!)

Pushkin in a jacket? 2

(Would you like to try it on?)

No, for us, "your garage" isn't proper,

(Hell-o Garage!)

All of the culture is in Saint Petersburg!

Here are Lenkas and Natashas, 3

not native Muscovites.

The five-story buildings are demolished, 4

The other buildings are in style now.

Where a low-life can find a safe place,

Nobody can answer that.

I'm talking about so-called culture,

And the result is obvious

Where, say, the Hermitage?

(I had cultural experiences!)

Pushkin in a jacket?

(Would you like to try it on?)

No, for us, "your garage" isn't proper,

(Hell-o Garage!)

All of the culture is in Saint Petersburg!

Living in the capital isn’t dull,

Just spicey like Harcho soup. 5

But wi-fi in Moscow is on every f****** corner

However, I still don’t want to be a Muscovite.

So then your running circles on the trains,

Rushing like a hamster in a wheel.

Posting on social media,

How did everyone f*** up!

Where, say, the Hermitage?

Pushkin in a jacket?

No, for us, "your garage" isn't proper,

All of the culture is in Saint Petersburg!

Where, say, the Hermitage?

(I had cultural experiences!)

Where Pushkin’s jacket is?

(Would you like to try it on?)

No, for us, "your garage" isn't proper,

(Hell-o Garage!)

All of the culture is in Saint Petersburg!

As clear as f***!

1. A famous Russian museum in St. Petersberg, or Leningrad. I see what you did there Leningrad...I see2. A famous Russian playwright3. As Igee was saying this is referencing tourist traps.4. This is probably a reference to the “block” style apartments from the old Soviet days that were made for mass housing and have fallen into disrepair on the outskirts of Moscow.5. A native Georgian soup. It is strange I’ve learned more about food by translating than by actually opening up a cook-book.

• Artist:Leningrad