Ash Ketchum vs Charles Darwin lyrics

[Ash Ketchum]

Darwin wants to battle? Doesn't seem like a fight

But this should be fun, I've yet to catch the Ghost type

Got the highest speed stat, drop raps lightning fast

Open my pockets and go (Charizard!) on your ass

'Cause I'm Ash! And that's A to the "shush"

I don't care how many beetles and butterflies you squoosh

Your earthworms can't beat these magical beasties

Your shit-talking mouth is the origin of feces

You got candy raps: Reese's Pieces

In this ecosystem, I'm the dominant species

When it's time to train, I turn to Pikachu

But when I need a weak verse, I choose you!

[Charles Darwin]

Hello there. Welcome to a world called Earth

Where actual minds do groundbreaking work

If you're looking for the fittest, I'm the natural selection

You're so ineffective you couldn't even turn 11

What you spit's just not hard-hitting enough

It's kids stuff! You're soft like a Jigglypuff

You got no Game, Boy, so you'll get the broom quick

The real Ash packs a much bigger BOOMSTICK

I'm a masterful naturalist

What I've glimpsed will outclass all the crap on your laughable list

My research reversed the first words of the Church

You measure your worth by the sales of your merch

[Ash Ketchum]

Yo, ummm, real quick?

This dude spent eight years studying barnacle dick! Kick it!

You think I'm impressed by your boat trip? Please!

You're the most annoying thing on a Beagle since fleas

You're a glitchy old man best left out at sea

Set sail and Galápago-suck on these!

[Charles Darwin]

Look, Mighty Morphin' Michael Vick

Your animated slave fights make me sick

When I battle a foe from so simple a beginning

I'm not Charles Sheen, but I am Dar-winning!

[Ash Ketchum]

Man, if that's true, then nature is cruel

'Cause the only thing you're winning is your cousin's gene pool

You lost three children while they were still small

TB and scarlet fever: gotta catch 'em all!

[Charles Darwin]

It took millions of years for mankind to evolve

Now they're hunched over cell phones playing with your balls

And it was hard losing my daughters and their brother

As hard as the wood that Oak gave your mother!

• Artist:Epic Rap Battles of History
• Album:Season 5