El Niagara En Bicicleta [English translation]

One Sunday morning, I fainted

when I was least expecting it

I fell fell in a heap, like a soursop fruit, over the sewer grate

Maybe it's my blood pressure, or maybe my bilirubin level went up

And I got a fever

and I started turning white, like a mothball

they took me to a general hospital (supposedly)

and in the emergency room, the receptionist was listening to the lottery numbers

("thirty thousand pesos!")

"Someone take pity on me!"

I shouted, losing consciousness,

and a nurse came up and whispered in my ear:

“Be calm, kid, be calm”

She stroked me with her hands like Ben Gay and said:

"What happened to you, buddy?"

and I told her, with a wealth of detail, what had occurred.

"We need to check your blood pressure,

but the room is occupied, and, my dear,

in this hospital there's no power for an EKG."

I opened my eyes like a full moon and I put my head in my hands

because it's very tough

to cross Niagara Falls on a bicycle

Don't tell me the doctors left

Don't tell me they don't have anesthesia

Don't tell me they drank the rubbing alcohol

and that the thread for stitches

was embroidered into a tablecloth

Don't tell me they lost the forceps,

that the stethoscope is out partying,

that the X-rays melted,

that the serum was already used

to sweeten the coffee

I used her shoulders like a lame man uses his crutch

and I said: "What do I do, sweetie?"

and on a prescription she wrote very sweetly:

"I'm sorry, buddy"

She stroked me with her hands like Ben Gay and then went on her way

and I clearly heard her say to another patient:

“Be calm, kid, be calm”

I lowered my eyes to half mast and put my head in my hands

because it's very tough

to cross Niagara Falls on a bicycle

Don't tell me the doctors left

Don't tell me they don't have anesthesia

Don't tell me they drank the rubbing alcohol

and that the thread for stitches

was embroidered into a tablecloth

Don't tell me they lost the forceps,

that the stethoscope is out partying,

that the X-rays melted,

that the serum was already used

to sweeten the coffee

[Improv.]

Don't tell me I'm falling down

from so much pain

Don't tell me the aspirins

change color

Don't tell me that they're thinking of me,

that they're missing love

Don't tell me that it's beating for him, oh no...

• Artist:Juan Luis Guerra
• Album:Ni es lo mismo ni es igual